Battles of the sexes?

[JulieH]

Zues, I agree. I think he really does not know what he wants. this hurts me greatly because, come on we were together for 14 years. Plus our last year together was awful because of a lot of external factors. Him leaving was a huge insult to my pride. It's hard to swallow that pride and that resentment, especially when I'm not sure the outcome is even gonna be all that good. I guess he feels the same way about the outcome part. Neither of us have faith in the relationship at this point.

JellyB, timing is a funny thing. Thanks for your support.

Ancaire, yes, I have the feeling if I act as if, it makes it easy for husband to come back. with this separation, I feel like we have become strangers. I feel uncomfortable with just small talk. If I was meeting a new person their is so much you can find out and make conversation about. All we really have that is safe to talk about is work and the kids.

To be honest, prior to separation having conversation with husband was like pulling teeth. Anything weird or philosophical I would ask him about, he would respond with answers like "I don't have time to think about stuff like that. I have too much going on at work". I was always trying to get him to do something interactive, like games or paint nights or anything and not once would he participate. Dinner where we struggled to make small talk or watching tv (and he always disappears the whole time anyway). I struggled against this and it often led to fights.
I don't know if this was because he was upset with me or if this is what he observed growing up. His father was like this with his mom, so it scares me...They both did their own hobbies separate. She went on vacations separate and basically his mom served and did everything for dad. . She tried her hardest to become interested in the things he liked (cars and football).

I am wondering if my husband is right. We cannot make this work because we have little in common and wanted different things out of a relationship. He wanted more independence and a team dynamic to get things done but separatly. I wanted a companion to have fun with and spemd time with.