Painter - you are absolutely correct. There were not one, but two, off his e-mail addresses in the forwarding area. The 2nd addy was waiting on a confirmation code...as if he got interrupted.
I suppose I'm being naive again wanting to trust him. The damage is done, anyhow. If he was reading my e-mails, he knows what our strategy for spousal is. I plan to continue on as before. What can I do?
Like I said to Mutatio - my L is spitting mad, because at the bottom of her e-mails there is a disclaimer about the information being attorney-client information, etc.
She called all her L friends this morning to see what she can do. If I don't do something, I believe she's mad enough, she will. I guess this hasn't happened to her before. My case is giving her all kinds of experience she's not had before...LOL
I have to keep my sense of humor. If I don't, I'll get sad...and we don't want that!
He did this Anc. Of course if you recollect my WH did the same thing.
He also deleted all the info on all my ipads and iPhones to cover his tracks including the work ones, created havoc.
I have a new email address for my L and a new laptop for work.
WH forced his way into my new offices and took information and documents. He now has a cease and desist warning from L plus in the UK it's illegal. We are not permitted to take information in this way by sneak (Hildebrand rules). If we use it the courts like that even less (Inman case). I can not see that the UK will be unique in this.
Your L has a duty of care to you to treat this with all seriousness. I suspect is not the D stuff he's after but details on your other case.
You and your L are likely entitled to damages, in addition it can be included as an argument in an order for costs. There should be an email footprint.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Ancaire, I'm so sorry I've missed a lot of your story lately. I simply haven't had time to get on the forums without someone (either at home or at work) looking over my shoulder...
Now that that's over with I have a few questions.
1) Is the reason you're OK with your husband forwarding your emails because you think it shows he cares or because you don't care any more? I think it's important for you to examine the answer - you've made too much progress to start falling back into old patterns.
2) I'm still reading back, but how is you GAL going? Are you getting out of the house and away from slimy, err... I mean your husband?
3) What are your plans for next week?
4) Have you updated or evaluated your goals lately?
5) Not a question, but a statement. I doubt you believe this, but you are probably one of the strongest people I know. And you have the purest heart. With that combination you have a great future, with or without your husband
OK, that's all for now. I'll take a quick tour of the board before I start my new thread.
Me-38 W-38; T-15 M-12; S10 and S6 BD - July 2016; EA confirmed; confronted Aug 2015 EA dissolved 12/2016
Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option - Maya Angelou
Anc, of course he did it, and if he didn't wouldn't he have realized he was getting all of your emails and tried to figure out what was going on? I wish you had taken Mutatio's approach and used this to give him false info. You could have had all of us DB'ers sending you crazy stuff, think of the fun we could have had!
You seem to always have a great attitude. I hope that is because your L is handling it so you can "let it go". That way the issue is addressed and you can go on with your PMA.
I want to add that I have read H's e-mails - snooped - after discovering the A by chance (twice). In one of the instances, I came across an e-mail from his L, and I read it. It was very brief, but shocking, H was trying to find a way to deny me access to the marital home when I came back from school (I was away for a couple of months). His L (who I only happened to discover he had hired after I came back, H kept a lot of secrets and lied very extensively), told him flat out no.
But the act of snooping made me nervous and almost physically ill, and it's not something I could continue doing. Since I very shortly after confronted H with what I found, it didn't give me an advantage (except of course for the proof that he had an A), and had he decided to S and D, I wouldn't have kept looking!
Ancaire, you have been honest with your H, and he will realize that what you have said to him fits with what he discovered on his own. I would take my satisfaction in that - knowing that he knows you are an honorable person.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Thank you, everyone. Let me answer the main question you all seem to have. The reason I'm not up in arms about my e-mail is layered:
1) Nothing he does surprises me anymore. 2) If he did it, the damage is done. I can't "undo" it. 3) I just don't care anymore. He's beaten me down to the point I don't have it in me to be overly upset. 4) He won't have found anything in my e-mail that would indicate I am "out to get him" - the opposite, in fact. I have no secrets to hide. I don't lie to him.
I'm ready to move on - as much as I can be. He's disappointed me to the point I can hardly look at him. I'm being nice and pleasant for now. I don't intend to have anything to do with him once I'm out of here.
I don't think that is his goal - but that's a problem for another day. I need healing, and need certain things from him so that I can do that. That's all I want anymore. I'm ready to be done, and move forward.
GAL? What is this you speak of? LOL Sadly, not much GAL lately - but in my defense, I've been pretty sick with something. It's probably stress, because I have no fever - but lots of nausea and vomiting, chills and body aches.
The stress is due to the fact my criminal case is next week. I'm scared. I'm really scared. I try not to think about it or talk about it, but I know it's coming - I'm a bit freaked out. I've been trying to contact my L on that case, and am not getting a response - so I'm feeling uneasy. I'll try again tomorrow. They have a busy practice, so the fact I haven't heard back is more than likely benign.
To be fair, my defense L thinks this will be easy. But it's my life, I've never been in trouble before, and I'm not as laid-back as he is. I am so ready for this to be over!
