They are looking for "change". They think that changing exterior things will make them feel better. It will for a short period of time and then they begin looking for something else to change. They don't realize that happiness comes from within.
As for her teenager antics, well, she's gone back in time to the age where she was emotionally stunted. I'm not surprised that her room is a disaster as well as her car. They tend to purchase new items and do forget to update their friends on new phone numbers, etc. It's all part of the depression/crisis. Hopefully, she'll settle down soon. If not, "dad", just leave her be. Continue as you have and try not to get into any heated discussions w/her.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
