Letting go, finally

[JGuy]

...on the other hand, maybe what I could do is set the deadline for myself but not say anything about it to my W. I find it extremely difficult to detach, forget about my W and focus on myself in this sitch while we are still living together and while we are still undecided about whether or not we want to try and save the M. It feels like I am in a prison where I can't move backward and I can't move forward either!

I hear what folks here are saying about detaching and GALing, but it is just so hard to do when I am still half in. The entire future of my life depends on what happens with my M, so how can I really move forward, GAL and not obsess about the M? Isn't it normal to want an answer to the question of what's happening to my M so that I can decide what I'm doing next? Am I wrong to think that if I was totally out and had decided that it was over, it would be much easier to detach? Is there some Jedi mind trick I haven't figured out yet?