I've been reading along, but this is my first post. I hope to be able to post more, but time is sort of at a premium right now. There are a lot of moving parts in my situation right now (as I know there are for many here) - cancer, a failing business/possible bankruptcy, substance abuse, financial lies, a separation initiated by H, a 2-year-old, etc., and I could really use some input with one of them.
Yesterday, I got notice from my auto insurance that H changed something on the policy. Turns out that something was to remove his car and add a car he just bought. He emailed me that night saying, fyi, he traded in his car and is going to become a ride-share driver (as in, Lyft/Uber), starting this weekend. He had no intention of telling the insurance company how he planned to use the car, and they don't insure vehicles used for that. I cheerfully told him this morning that I was glad he got a good deal, hoped the car worked out well, and I thought we probably needed to separate policies (which would mean me dropping his car from my policy). He is asking me to wait because he hasn't started driving yet.
I told him earlier today that I'm not comfortable waiting past tonight, but that I was happy to leave him on for today if that was helpful. My reason is that nothing he says has been trustworthy for months, so I really have no way of knowing when he is going to start, and he didn't even tell me he bought a car and changed our insurance! I haven't gone into that with him. He is challenging me, "Please leave it on. Why are you not comfortable?" There is no way I want to get into monitoring when he *actually* starts, etc.
I have the sense that this is a boundary I need to keep, but I could really use some input, and either support or alternatives, before I see him tonight when he comes to be with our son. I really appreciate any insight anyone has to offer - thank you so much!
