Wife starts acting strange, she calls it her awakening! But I saw it as depressed, drinking more, disconnected (11/2014) Discover EA 6/2015 (Immediately start 180 and reading DR) Divorce first mentioned 11/2015 (day after Thanksgiving, rescinded 2 days later) 11/30/2015 I go from 180/sandi’s rules to a mix of after the last resort/NC Wife is still in home, sleeping on couch since September (my request), we have not talked relationship since 11/30/2015 (today is Jan 11th 2016)
Sorry for your situation in the MR. Looking at what you wrote above, I don't really understand what you are doing and not doing.
Do you understand the nature of a wayward wife? If not, you may be interested in reading some threads I have on the subject. The first link is in Cadet's post to you.
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Then last night she asked me to cancel my part of a trip to Mexico for her girlfriend’s wedding in April, she would like to go alone and share a room with two other woman in the wedding party. I told her I would think about it, but I don’t think we should be paying $3k for her to go on vacation right now. I just don’t trust her; my first thought is the OM is going now. How should I handle this? I am also friends with these people and now I am uninvited because my wife it cheating?
There is nothing you can believe or trust about a wayward wife. If you pay $3K to go on a vacation in Mexico and then cancel your part......you'll probably being paying OM's way. You can't really trust her women friends, either. Most female friends will cover for each other......some do when they don't even approve of what's going on.
With a wife in a full blown affair, you can't use a soft approach and just wait around to see what she decides. So far, this works great for her. She gets to have all the advantages of being supported by you, and gets to have an affair, too! The best of both worlds. Why do you think she'll just decide to stop some day? She may break it off with this OM, but she's addicted to the thrill of an affair.....so she will likely go find OM#2, if the dynamics do not change, and fast.
Is she sharing your bed. Are you having sex with her? What is a typical day's interaction with her?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
