Here again after 9 years and struggling 2

[Irish M]

Hi Inpain

Hoovering is a new word for me too lol. I wil try to use it once a week . New words for the new me :-)

Continue what you are doing, I see it as baby steps. Don't expect him to one day say "what did I just do to my life and my family" . It probably took him a long time to get to be point and leave you. Of course they never brought it up and we are to understand the reasons without discussing it with us. Your 19 year relationship and my 17 year has no meaning to them. We didn't have a chance to work on anything.

I know it's hard not to fall to pieces or let your guard down especially when they show signs of the old them. When the kids see them back to themselves for an hour or more it's even harder. I did it at XMAs... Actually thought she was feeling the loss and pain of what she did. I was wrong.

They are irrational and we can't figure them out. They probably can't explain it themselves. Mine said she was confused, not sure what she wanted, needed to find herself. They are lost.

I hope he's not cake eating or trying to be "just friends" . Either way you will see it as time goes on then you can apply something new.

(Hugs) irish