Trumpet, I am just catching up on your sitch right now.
Spying is not going to help, if she is still in touch with OM your behavior will just make her take it further undercover. Fake emails, a second phone, you really can never know. I think changed behavior sustained over time will be your only way to know.
I think you are at a critical turning point here, I am eager to hear how this works out. I wish I could advise you but I will leave that to the vets who know what they are talking about.
