WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE

[sandi2]

You are probably in the most critical or fragile stage of all.

She says she 'wants to give it a shot', but the difference is that she is committed as well.

Doesn't it have to be one of the other?

She still insinuates that the problem was between US, and not the OM. So, she still has lots of self-discovery on her part.

I understand the point of view about the problem existing before the OM, however, if she's trying to find a loophole to continue contacting OM as a "friend", stop it in its tracks.

She wants me to make the choices when we go out - hates making choices. In fact, she refuses to go to Subway, because there are too many choices. Won't grocery shop with me, and wants me to do all the big shopping - too many choices, to much to analyze.

The concern related to your M is that your WW may not feel she can make a choice between you and OM......and thus, try to hang on to both of you (keeping OM a secret, of course).

I realize I've been the 'fixer' for years, and through all of this, she has to fix her side of the street.

As long as you continue to be the fixer in the R, she won't feel the need to do it herself. If you tell her this is her mess and she has to clean it up.....then she is more likely to start doing the work.