WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE

[trumpet]

Indigo1,

Thank you for posting - it's nice to hear from another person who did the 'dance'.

She's saying a lot of things I hear other spouses say - 'You're not hurting like me! You don't know what this is like for me! Am I going to be spied upon for the rest of my life? I've said I'm sorry already - why do we have to keep doing this? I feel like I'm constantly under your prying eyes!'... and on, and on.

She's free to do whatever she wants - I can't stop her.

If she wants the marriage to begin again, no contact, and transparency was on the top my of list of things that had to happen, as well as counseling for her, and marriage counseling for us.

She has the appointment on Friday. From everthing that has happened in the last week, I don't have high expectations. I just hope she doesn't blow up at the therapist and leave. She did set it up.

A friend of mine said to just let it lie, and give her space, which means don't spy at all. If she wants to make the M work, she'll give access. She's a smart cookie, and she knows how to delete and move things around. I'm not trying to 'catch' her, but with no trust there, we have to build it some way, shape, or form.

I probably need to be ready for her to turn the divorce clock back on. This is tough.