WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE

[trumpet]

Boundary: NC
Boundary: Access to her email/phone

THEN we can start to reconcile. Going to take time. Going to give her time.

She gave me access to her phone yesterday if I want it. I told her I didn't need to see it. Didn't look.
Yesterday I found she had moved pictures of OM to her email account from work.
I called her and called her out on that yesterday - she says it's part of her 'process of letting go'... and hung up on me.

Last night, didn't want to talk with me. Angry again this morning. She did say 'have a nice day' when I told her to have a nice day.

Just double-checked this morning, and she changed her password on her yahoo email... ugh.

I did make the call, and she says she's sick of me 'spying on her'... I explained that was something I needed to have happen, we talked on Sunday about it, and if she put herself into my shoes what would it look like?

"It would look like I'm trying to hide something."
Bingo.

I truly don't want to have to enforce my boundary... but do I just stop snooping? She's trying to break up 'easy', which happens often from all the postings around here.

I told her she sounds upset at me, and that it's ok.


Struggling with my wife who said on Sunday I can have full access, and she's even willing to leave the house now, to where she's changing her passwords to cover her tracks.

We can't start to heal if this stuff is still going on. My telling her that I'm hurt my her actions just makes her get more angry at me.

I told her a rock-solid marriage is built upon trust and honesty. It's also built upon communication that is clear - this is something we both desperately need to work on, but I don't want to put too much on her plate. Just trust and honesty. Start clean... we have baggage, and if I was in a new relationship, the trust would start higher - it just would.

Struggling to explain to my wife why I need NC without sounding demanding. Should I just stop asking for transparancy, and let her do her 'thing', even if the EA starts up again?

Sooo struggling with this today.