Last night

[kyrie]

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2642343&page=1
Ok friends and task masters, help me navigate a pattern.
Everyday I go to work early in the morning (sole provider for you just jumping in mid-crap-stream here). Each afternoon I come home, check in and connect with the kiddos (H picks them up from school) and get started on chores & dinner. We play a video game or get caught up on household stuff (in the past we've gone for walks when weather is good), etc. Bath time, prep for tomorrow, prayers & bed. A decent routine generally. After the girls go to bed, we'd sit and watch something together (that was typical of the past). Sometimes in this Purgatory we'd still do that. Or H would even occasionally open up about his day. I don't generally ask, other than "How are you". But many nights he will sit in silence. If I leave him then I'm accused of avoiding things. If I do small talk then I'm just fake and I should know he doesn't care for small talk. If I suggest doing something else or watching something that's ignored and he stays stony. Often he has expressed that he shouldn't be the one to start things & that I should know by now what he wants. Yes, I know that's a manipulation game and I shouldn't buy into it.
I also know the started DB thing is GAL. So, my question:
at the end of the day, girls are in bed (9pm), I really don't want to leave the house. I'd rather just enjoy the evening (as I stated last night), try to connect in some way (could be physical, could be whatever - don't care!). But that's not where we are at right now. Suggestions?

Last night he said he doesn't like it when I'm around and sex with me leaves him feeling empty and dishonest. I get that. Frankly, I felt like saying "guilt will do that" *BUT* I refrained and know that's not helpful. Didn't say anything.

I'm hoping tomorrow I can maybe talk to the DB coach. We'll see - timing is SO hard.