Extremely confused

[keefa]

Hi everyone. bomb shell for me was 4th July. We are seperated, in the same house. it has been terse the last 6 months except a fab christmas which went back to being frosty on new years eve.

Was a bomb shell for me and I have been trying to follow all the advice I can. I have GAL, detached etc.

I have 2 boys 5 and 9 and they are happy, well adjusted and we have a fantastic relationship.
W wants to move and take them with her.
She says they are only happy if mummy is happy which hurts and me and my boys giggle constantly when we are together.
We live in a beautiful house, but w wants to move to a small 2 up 2 down.
1 month into the separation, I found naked pictures of her and another man.
She has denied a full blown affair and denied doing anything wrong.
All of our relationship this would have been a total no no and smashes our historical boundries.
1 week after separation I find she had already drawn draft divorce papers and tried to sell the house without me knowing.
She has constantly and continuously lied to me about many things, posted nasty, hurtful and untrue comments on social media.
She has no family of her own, and a few close friends of a couple of years.
I have written to her a few times, no begging but laying out my boundaries as I see them.
She will not talk or listen.
She has accused me on Facebook of narsassism but says she has done nothing wrong.
12 months ago she said she was really enjoying 'us'.
I have read many times about W being replaced with an alien.
Never was this more true !
I have attended 10 relate sessions alone and 8 couple therapy sessions alone. She attended one session to 'give her side of the story'.
At Christmas we cuddled and she told me she missed my cuddles so much.
It was like having my wife back.
We make each other cups of tea but thats it at the moment.
Our boys are fine but she continually uses them as a weapon for me to move out.
I will not abandon my boys.
There has never been abuse, drink problems, drugs or anything like that.
I have asked her for as long as I can remember to go out on dates spend time together etc but my needs have not been met. for the last 6 months we have been going out weekends for days as a 'family'. Zoo, cinema and so on.
My therapist says all the signs are there that she wants out. I am not an arrogant man but I don't buy this.
Something is happening.
Her periods have been fluctuating, some hair loss and so on and it is hard not to read into this.
She will not communicate with me except to get pissy and show me how much she hates me.

I need help in working out what to do.
Do I ignore my therapist expert and go with my gut, continue living my life and to be there if she needs me or do i let go gracefully knowing in my heart there was something else acting on her decisions.
Be it another man, pre-menopause or what ever.

I love my wife of 15 years, 7 rounds of IVF, miscarriage and so on, I can't understand how it all becomes so meaningless.

She says she wants to be friend but then will do all those things that make divorce as acrimonious is hell.
I have seen a solicitor and was served my divorce papers a week before Christmas despite our mutual promise at the mediators that we weren't going to do anything until after the holidays for the sake of the boys.
I am either at work or in 'my room' and this is my life. please. I need help.