I usually stay out of the L advice. People here give great L advice so I stick with other areas, but I am gonna break my no L advice record and say, Get A L.
He can quit his job all he wants, he will just get in trouble and STILL owe the money.
Remember, you come to these boards for help. Just, in this one instance, blindly follow the advice and put it out of your mind. Give the whole mess of money and support to your L and only when the L gives you reason to worry, then you can worry about what H is doing. He will see you as strong if you stand up for yourself.
I am positive you are very shaken by what happened. Today did not ruin anything. Please dont let your mind tell you that. One day does not help or ruin. Changes that are consistent over time are what helps or hurts.
This is a rollercoaster ride and what goes up must come down. Good days, bad days.
Trust me. I know you also feel like your sitch is a little different. People on these boards usually feel A) their sitch is so different that this wont work for them, or B) their sitch is so different that THEY will be able to do this quickly.
The absolute truth is your sitch is more similar than different to all of us, and you can have faith in the process. This will take time, time, time. Dont worry about today. Take steps for tomorrow.
After you get a L, what can you do to get your PMA up up up?
You're right. I always felt my situation was different. Mainly because of the international aspect and because my h was so eager to move on and get the divorce over and done with. But I guess my situation is just different because it's mine.
I had a friend over last night. That helped with my PMA although she told me a story about dating and sex that has now made me celibate for life. Yikes! And today I went on the treadmill for a pathetic run.
Regarding L, I'm getting dangerously close to hiring one. I'll see how this sweet cycle plays out later.
