One of the tenants has been in the house for 30 years or so. I'm not so worried about that. The other one unit is technically part of the house and the house would need to be modified to accommodate that person. Mr. Fantastic is a) utterly inexperienced at that sort of work, since I'm the one who always took care of it and b) totally lazy about that sort of thing unless there is a compellingly self-serving reason for him to do the work.
But this is totally irrelevant to me and not really on my radar lately. It upset me at the time because D12 insisted on showing me the houses on the internet.
I don't do anything by live voice with Mr. Fantastic. I operate SOLELY through email & text. This helps me maintain distance from him, and even then if the contact continues for too long I find myself losing my cool. I also don't attempt to co-parent -- we are "parallel parenting." I could make agreements with him all day long about how to parent the kids but at the end of the day I can't control his actions, and his actions have already shown me that he's fine with agreeing with me on some point and then behaving entirely differently when he's in the moment. It would just be an opportunity to raise resentment.
Thinking about Betsey's comment about asking for what I want, and thinking about a parenting class... I'm unkind. I carried him for so long and I'm still carrying a huge chunk of his responsibility... I don't want him to succeed. That's wrong of me, I know. But I am human and I don't want any good to come to him from how he treated me. I need to process that thought and try to be better.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
