He is mad about the pregnancy. We had talked about it for a while (6 was the plan before marriage) and he said he didn't want to have another yet, that he wanted a year off from me nursing or pregnant. I said that I felt if we waited that long, it would drag out and I'd rather have one now while we are in the toddler groove. We didn't resolve it verbally one way or another, but I was testing for ovulation daily (leaving the sticks on the bathroom counter) for 4 months and we continued having unprotected sex a few times a week. We I became pregnant, he said I "tricked" him. O.o He has not been involved in the pregnancy at all. Didn't know my due date until I finally announced it on Facebook for my friends. Doesn't know the midwife or the hospital. He told me flat out that he doesn't want the baby but he will support all of the kids.
As far as his laundry list, it was a lot of random things. The house wasn't clean enough, the dishes were still out from lunch. Now he's saying I used sex as a weapon. Yes, there was a bit of "Hey, you do dishes, we can have sex...but I had been working on not manipulating that way for a while and being more available. Or as available as I could be while mothering all day. I'm also not a touchy-feely person and get touched out by about 9:00 AM. It bothers him that I don't want to hold hands or cuddle.
The biggest problem though, which I 100% own, is that I would "check out" when he got home. 10-11 hours with the kids on my own and I would just hand them over to him and vegetate. The relationship definitely withered with no time alone and just work & kids. So now he is convinced I don't love him (and nothing I can say will convince him) and that this other woman is the girl of his dreams. Because their entire relationship is about talking to each other. About themselves.
Like I said in my other response, I'm not going to give him an easy divorce. I'm Catholic (and he was until recently, now he is atheist...and told me he won't "allow" his children brought up in any church anymore) and want to fight to keep the family together. I'm unsure if I should still file for separation though to protect myself financially. He told me he is going to pursue 50/50 physical custody (1 week with each parent) which I cannot stand the thought of. He said he would just put the kids in daycare or with a sitter on his weeks (with what money??). I feel I have more than generous thus far, offering him evening visits 3-4 times a week. He works 6 days a week and I had offered to let him have them all Sund
