How are you feeling now? I've been really worried about you.
You know what I keep wondering. H is so insistent on coming over himself...what does he want that he doesn't want to tell you about? He's been avoiding asking outright quite well, and that makes me suspicious.
I wonder if he had hidey-holes in the house? Maybe there's something there he doesn't want you to find. I'm just really suspicious - you told him no. He tried to sneak in. What on earth?
It's a toss up for me. Either he is insistent on doing things his way in spite of the fact you'd made alternate arrangements that accomplished the same task, or there's something in the house he doesn't want to tell you about.
Typical "dont tell me what to do" WAS, or a person with something hidden? Interesting puzzle...
I feel like handled my MIL with total grace and absolute decorum on my part. Everything I said was absolutely genuine and I made sure my energy was really positive without being forced or artificial in any way.
She looked a bit sheepish when she first saw me, but I was very friendly and open to her and we had a bit more of a conversation.
I helped her load everything into her car. She found it harder to do (physically) than me.
She asked how I was and I said 'really great'. I asked how she was and how their Christmas was and new year was. She said they didn't have a great Christmas and that they didn't organise and run the thing for the village where she lives that they do every new year. She asked about my Christmas, and I said I'd had a lovely, relaxing time with my mum and stepdad.
The only part that I was slightly hesitant over was when she commented on how very slim I was looking, and she asked me if I was eating. I didn't have an answer for a split second, but then said I'd been really busy in December working in three different places.
I told her there was more of his things to take away and I would send him a text when they were ready and we could organise getting them collected. She seemed more preoccupied with getting his passport to him and his receipts for his tax return, that really quite understanding what I was saying at this point.
There was no chat about H or OW.
I wanted to give her a hug and thank her for everything, but her hands were full with a box and she was happy to carry it to her car herself.
I'll talk some more later and answer all your lovely posts.
Sorry, forgot to add, made sure I looked my absolute best.
Hair freshly washed and beautifully straight (still dyed from the other week), make up done to perfection, plain (tight) long sleeved black t-shirt, skinny jeans, and my favourite Chanel perfume.
You did amazing! It is so tempting to try and gather ANY information about H in these situations but you stayed strong. It is over, you can relax. Try not to let this pull you down. Everything is going smooth as glass.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Well done Focus. I had to spend a whole day with inlaws where we avoided the whole topic of R with daughter so I know how hard it can be. Don't over analyze it now. Enjoy your day.
Thank you so much Huddy, Mona, Fo, Scrant...really means a lot to me that you stopped by and posted such lovely things
I had a nice afternoon/early evening out and going back to my flat was OK. I slept very well and it felt very peaceful this morning.
I know I have managed to do this process once now, and I can face the second part of moving the rest of his things out with that knowledge.
So, thinking over how yesterday went with my MIL...I was ready (and expecting) a more neutral stance from my MIL towards me. Perhaps even a bit compassionate towards me for the end of our M?
I'm starting to think that they might not approve of how their son has/is behaving towards me/our M, and how this whole thing has/is unfolding?
I'm also wondering if they've maybe been able to see the intensity of his infatuation with OW, now that their R is out in the open? And they maybe don't quite approve of that?
All guesswork on my part, of course. What I do know is that both MIL and FIL were very, very fond of me. They both knew how much I loved their son, over a long, long time, and how much I supported him - and how much I tolerated as well.
H texted me yesterday afternoon to say thank you so much for packing everything up for him, changing my plans so he could get his documents in time (he had to submit them for a visa application).
I've not texted anything back yet but was maybe thinking something along the lines of: you're most welcome. I'll send you a text when the rest of your possessions and documents are ready, and we can arrange a time for them to be collected.
Should I add anything more? Something like: that may be in a couple of weeks from now.
I feel quite different now I've managed to face this hurdle and handle it with grace and elegance.
I've also been signed off my part time job with stress. I was getting people either feeling really concerned and sorry for me because they knew what had happened, or people asking me how my H was and what he was up to because they didn't know. And it was really, really stressing me out.
I feel much calmer now. And I'm trying to get on with everyday things a bit more.
