How long should I keep trying to show her my love and try to get her to give us another go. I read many different sites on how to save the marrage and some say keep trying to talk to her keep a conversation going most want me to part with some money and I will buy the information if I truly felt it would help
Speaking as a former WW, the more my H would have tried to persuade me to stay.....the more I would be cold/mean to him. First of all, his persuading was emotional pressure that I resented. Secondly, I felt I had to be colder to convince him it was over. Therefore, I suggest you drop that approach immediately, if you don't want to push her through D doors.
Don't listen to advice from other forums, b/c each forum, book/author, family & friends are going to have different opinions. Family & friends are biased, so they don't always give the best advice for a person facing D.
Dealing with a wayward wife is very tough work. Your target cannot be showing her how much you love her, at least not at this point. Her issue is not whether or not you love her. She is long past that point........regardless of what she may give as her excuse for wanting out. Instead, you have to get back the respect she has lost. A woman has to respect you as a man, first, before she will respect you as her H. She has to respect you before she can love you. That's how she's wired.
As for the question of moving out, you need to get legal advice where you live. We don't know what applies for you area. We usually advise the LBS not to leave the home. However, in-house separation is not very successful in R the M, and it takes a terrible toll on the LBH, so you have to decide what is best for you emotionally and legally. Talk to a lawyer about abandonment.
In the meantime, don't move to the couch, basement, kids' bedroom, or spare room. She wants out? Let her be the one to leave the master bedroom.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
