More and more, and less and less...

[Zues126]

Yes, when I had children I had lots of unvoiced expectations. I didn't communicate them because I just thought it was self-evident. I thought it was obvious that two people would continue to take care of each other, and stay together through thick and thin.

I have learned differently. Some of my expectations were unrealistic. Others are absolutely realistic, and not everyone is a realistic person.

In the end change is possible for all of us. My expectations may have changed. My ability to care for my partner. Her understanding of my needs. Etc. But none of it has a chance if the marriage is destroyed. To me this is the most tragic part.

I'm intrigued by what you say about communication. It's interesting to think a relationship would be possible in any form. I can't see it from here, but if I decide to plunge ahead someday I'll make sure to address these issues head on instead of closing my eyes and crossing my fingers.