Told her I was getting an attorney, after she said she'd already met with one, and she said, I thought this was going to be amicable. This WW/WAW/MLC crap is for the birds...
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
I have no idea why the WAS, upon learning that the LBS is retaining an attorney, sees it as an act of war, but it is a trend I see across the board. My H did it, too. It's fine if they get an attorney, but if we do, we're being antagonistic.
It is the strangest thing...I suppose it's just another piece of the selfish WAS puzzle. I'm tired of it, too. I'm pondering the fact that it seems to be such a huge modern day trend. Are they really confused, or are they just giving in to the selfishness we can all have within? They certainly never claim it's MLC. They're always certain that it's what they've "always" wanted.
But certain traits seem true, no matter who is affected: A sudden change in personality, a sudden rejection of morals they used to uphold, a total change in priorities. But all those things seem to hold true for a WAS, too.
I think it's questions like these that really make the advice to "work on yourself" truly helpful. Trying to watch them and figure them out is an exercise in futility. I'm happy to say I'm finally moving forward - a far, far cry from the despairing terrified wreck I was when I first showed up here. I've got nothing but time from this point forward. I'm certainly not ready to do anything other than work on myself.
Maybe for the LBS, it's more a matter of learning to be happy no matter what else is going on in life. I don't have all the answers yet, that is for certain. I'm definitely coming to terms with it all, though.
You've been where I'm just getting for months. Thanks for updating. It's nice to hear from people who are further down the road - there's always something to learn.
You are getting there, Judy. Once you start taking care of yourself and have some unadulterated fun, you'll see that you will be okay. Keep telling yourself that! Choose to respect yourself, and you'll see that your self esteem returns. You can still be hurt and broken, and maybe full of regret, but you'll know you weren't the one who quit. And that's entirely liberating.
It's troubling to see it all fall apart, but I've determined that my gut feeling was correct. When she said she was done, I held out hope, but still detached. And it saved me.
