Wife is in love with another man

[shreeve]

This is really good insight, thank you. I am early in the process, and still have to deal with these things in the (hopefully) near future.

I am not really telling her I'm happy for her, I did make it clear that it is her decision and not mine. I re-iterated that I will do whatever it takes to save my marriage, but I am only 1/2 of the marriage and cannot make the decision to try and save it for both of us. Yes, 2700+ text messages in one month does seem like an addiction, and she has had addiction issues in the past. She actually met this man in AA before we were married. Your insight does let me know that she may need an intervention of sorts, but such an intervention could not be from me as I am currently viewed in a very negative light.

I do agree that happiness come from within, she is seeking it in others. I do hope she learns that love is hard work, and happiness in from within. I definitely do not agree with her choice, and I personally do not believe it is the right choice. But the choice is not mine, and I can offer love / compassion / support or nothing or the opposite. I chose the first.

I do continue to improve myself regardless of the outcome, and can see a bright future for myself. I do want to be able to look back on this devastating event in my life, and know that I handled it with love and honor.

I really do appreciate your thoughts on this, it really gives me a lot to think about.