Deciding Whether to Separate

[brutus3]

Thanks Painter. That post was really helpful. I'll work on controlling my emotions around her. It's hard because I'm dealing with multiple things such as the employment issue and feeling isolated.

When we first met, I just got a new job and I was forming a band. Had lots of friends from work and I was also dating a lot. I'm not normally a type A but during that time, I was probably exhibiting a lot of those behaviors. I was definitely in a good spot and in charge of the relationship.

I haven't started my own checking acct yet, we have joint accounts. On paper, our incomes are actually combined 50-50. The wife set this up in case we wanted to upgrade to a larger house (2 yrs ago when things were better). Technically, we are contractors (real estate industry) and for payroll reasons we have an LLC. That LLC provides payroll to us and goes into our joint checking acct. I only made 40K last year but since we both made 110K, on paper I made 55K. Hopefully, that makes sense. It's a little complicated but that's how it's set up.

For reference, I'll be getting paid about 25-30K/yr once my new job takes off. In a couple of years, hopefully 40K. I'm starting over in a new career at 42, so it's tough right now.

I have a little cash from my dad for emergencies. I'll have to set up a new PO Box too, probably do both of those things this week.

I spoke with an attorney about 3 weeks ago. He said most divorces in our state go to mediation. I don't think he specializes in family issues so maybe he's not the right guy to get advice from. He said I probably won't get child support unless I'm the primary caregiver. I doubt the wife would agree to that without a big battle. I have another referral that seemed more aggressive on the phone but expensive. I should probably give him a call...