I was sitting on the sofa, watching TV, when I hear someone very quietly put a key in the lock and try and turn it. They try twice.
I'm guessing that was my H.
The last thing he knew, was that I was working about 60 hours this week (he doesn't know about me being signed off sick). So maybe he thought I would be out? And he could sneak in for a few things?
I'm actually shaking. Like someone who has been caught doing something they shouldn't be.
Yeah, I had them changed really early on in the whole thing.
I was having real trouble getting any sort of 'space' of my own just after he left (talking headspace here) and I thought that making a safe physical space, where he couldn't just walk back in whenever he pleased, might help me. And it did.
That was a sneaky, low-down, dirty trick to try and play.
I thought you meant me there for a minute...lol!
On the plus side, I got signed off from work; I arranged another session with my IC; I reached out to a friend and got a quick phone call back; I packed more of my H's stuff and rearranged my own things in the space that was left (still more to be done on that front though).
And tomorrow, the big pile of my H's things in my hallway and living room will be gone.
I might go out after his stuff has been collected tomorrow as well, just for an hour or so. A change of scenery and a bit of fresh air might do me good.
Wow. They are famous for completely walking all over us, and getting mad when our tiny toe accidentally crosses a line.
Going out for an hour will do wonders for your PMA. Every day wont be like this for the rest of your life. It will get better. Maybe a stupid sitcom can get your mind off your pain? I know it only works for a few minutes at a time. But you need to do something to turn your head back to more positive things. Like a jump start.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Focus. You have been so strong so far that I'm sure you can do it. Be yourself upbeat, cheerful and friendly. I'd avoid R talk too as I think it won't help and can only cause harm. Good luck.
I understood the other day, when I bumped into his friend and colleague, that I can have a conversation and not ask about H. Doing that also helped me feel a little more dignified in this whole situation.
If MIL brings him up when she is round this afternoon, then I'll just nod and say something neutral, maybe even compassionate if I an manage it, but not ask any questions.
I feel sorry for her, tbh. It must be difficult for them as well. They were really fond of me and they saw very clearly how much I loved their son over the course of those 18 years we were together.
