WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE

[trumpet]

Cadet,

After taking a look on Pursuit and Distance, and finding a characteristic chart on Emotional Pursuit/Distance, I'm more in the Pursuer category, while my wife is more of a distancer.

About two-thirds is pursuit for me, and two-thirds distancer for my wife.

One of the counselors, the female I saw on Monday, and who saw us originally, said that our roles did seem 'flipped' from what she normally sees. I think she might have been thinking along these lines. I'm not emotionally distant - I'm actually much more able to talk about my emotions. It's really difficult for my wife. It's better to bottle and tell no one what she thinks. She wants me to make the choices when we go out - hates making choices. In fact, she refuses to go to Subway, because there are too many choices. Won't grocery shop with me, and wants me to do all the big shopping - too many choices, to much to analyze.

My first thought after my frustration this morning, and now after reading this, is to go right back to DB'ing in full. Get back to no pursuit, and get back to having no expectations on the R.

How do we stop the cycle? How do I get my wife to realize her part without just coming out and telling her? I realize I've been the 'fixer' for years, and through all of this, she has to fix her side of the street.