Thank you Cycler, thank you so much. I have been focussing so much on H that I forget how far I've come through this whole thing and that yes, gosh darn it, I am a great person!
I'm screaming because my hair is getting snarled!!! Reminds me of when my H had is bass boat that went 60 miles an hour. When I'd ride it in, I'd have my head down low and scream the whole time!! Nothing like a scenic ride on the lake doing 60 miles an hour
Quote: Just keep your focus on you and not on him.....because you would never be able to figure out from moment to moment what is in his head...even if all was well between you....you would never know every thought in his head...so don't try.
A lot of the things he is doing now were things he did when we WERE getting along..he's so complicated and makes HIS life so difficult.
I do need to focus on myself, my life. I do have a life, but I need to quit worrying about what H is going to do if I'm out living my life. In the back of my mind is the fear of OW coming back, need to stomp it out, as she is nothing compared to me...oh yeahhh I am feeling good today.
Reminds me of when my H had is bass boat that went 60 miles an hour. When I'd ride it in, I'd have my head down low and scream the whole time!! 
Nothing like a scenic ride on the lake doing 60 miles an hour 