Focus on my own life

[Mona52]

Focus,

I know this sounds bad, but I am kinda happy when you said you felt bad today and you should be to. You hit a small turning point when you realized you had a conversation, but never asked for info on H. You realized it happened naturally and you did not just forget him to play a game.

Every time I take a solid, firm step forward and become a little more detached from H, I go through a small depression period. I dont know why, but if I go through a bout of depression after a step forward, the step "sticks" better and I can move forward more detached. But if I dont feel the pain when I move forward, almost every time I slip back to where I was.

You are doing amazing. Utterly amazing. I cant remember you going crazy on him, backsliding to square one, or feeling completely alone and hopeless. Almost every one of us have done all of the above... regularly

Give yourself full permission to feel ecstatic and completely depressed. Both are great in helping you move forward. Do not allow wallowing for too long, but allow it to visit every once in a while.