Deciding Whether to Separate

[brutus3]

Some more background about the separation thing: the W and have gone back and forth on who leaves. This isn't a new debate between us. Also, I was driving a company vehicle (owned by her parents) and she let me buy a vehicle that was worth the equity in our house (15 to 20K). So we had a sort of an unwritten agreement that she'd keep the house and that would be my payoff for the house. I know you aren't supposed to make big purchases with a looming separation but I needed something reliable. With that in mind:

This morning, the wife mentioned a rental in town that came available and I said something along the line "that might be a good place for you then". You could literally watch her head explode. She was furious. She got really nasty...get this: she said it's not fair for her to hear me cry in the back of the house and to be sad all of the time. She I need to man up and deal with my depression (I'm not depressed, just going through an extremely trying time), and that she will refuse to support me for loafing around and make me pay rent in MY OWN HOUSE. She said it doesn't make sense financially and that I agreed to something previously and taking advantage of her. I told her that's not true, I need a couple of months to get my job going and my life in place before I leave. That it's not fair that I should leave the house if I'm breaking up the FAMILY. She seemed to calm down but she tried to get me out of MB. I said no. She relented and asked if I could get the office stuff out of the spare room she's been sleeping in and I said ok, that would be fair. She said she doesn't want our daughter to see us fight, that's why we should split. But I told her we haven't had a real argument in 6 weeks. And this morning wasn't even a real argument, not once did I raise my voice.

We plan on hashing out the rest of the separation within a couple of weeks. She seems fine with letting me stay until I get back on my feet. We'll probably put the house on the market after I do a little work to it.

We talked more about what went wrong between us (not communicating enough, brushing our problems under the rug, etc.). We are calm for now again and I bought some time. I know I'll have to find my own place at some point, just not now.