Please tell me that the OM's wife knows what is going on too.
Your wife doesn't want a divorce because she knows she can't leave your state with the kids and go to OM and OM is an unemployed loser that isn't gonna move to your state so the status quo where she gets both is the only way this can continue.
Just say "no".
She's unemployed and he's unemployed.
No more trips anywhere.
You don't have to pay to support your wife's affair addiction and participate in the destruction of your family.
Personally I'd recommend shutting off her cell phone and making your home internet connection knowingly key logged (or a sniffer) so she can't use it to communicate privately anymore.
Your wife is trapped....and she'll resent that for awhile but once you bust up the affair and she actually goes "no contact" she'll appreciate you helping her end it. Your marriage can survive her anger - an never-ending affair it can't survive so don't be so afraid of making her upset.
Ending the affair is the only thing you can try to accomplish to make any progress in your situation. Considering how long this has been going on for it's probably your best shot to go super aggressive on this fairly quickly before you give a crap gives up.
I'd also love to see about suing that "counselor" for that crap - but in the meantime - stop paying for that too. Sounds more like a witch reading tarot cards trying to destroy your [guessing Christian] marriage than a counselor.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
