I thought about what you said, but I did not feel affronted.
It did help me to reflect upon something important. That when I get that anger for husband it is usually occuring when kids are not with me and I am feeling unproductive and lonely. What I thought about, was that I often felt this anger at husband during marriage when things were not going smoothly for me. Instead of looking at myself and my Own failures I unfairly blamed him ( projection?) . Maybe more so in my mind but of course it would come out somehow.
The truth is I want nothing more then for you to be right about my situation. Because then there would be a chance for my family to not be destroyed. I Am constantly trying to make myself into a bad guy in order to justify my husband's leaving us. I would take a clumsy committed guy anytime that hasn't cheated. That's actually why I went for my husband...I trusted him because he was the guy that was opposite of "smooth".
Only thing is that my husband was not committed. He left us and I am beyond hurt.
Often I want him to hurt like I did and do because in my mind that's only fair. Occasionally I have compassion for him ( and that usually is after I read a post from you) and that feels much better. I continue to appreciate your perspective and your willingness to hold up that mirror for me.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
