I was in consumer lending for a lot of years. Loans. Credit reports. Underwriting. I was always on the sales end, but I know a ton about credit.
In the world of credit, recency is a big factor. A late payment a month ago is worse than a bankruptcy five years ago. It makes sense, history is history, what's going on lately is a better indicator of the current situation.
Still, there is a story behind the history. For example, the words you just spoke tell a different story than someone else might with a similar history. Similarly, I was asked recently by a friend if I'd ever consider taking XW back if she came around. I told them it would be more like an underwriting decision than an emotional one. What was the story? If it was about D being hard and wanting an easier life, run! If the story was one of remorse, regret, growth, discoveries...who the heck knows? I don't see that happening, but the point is that it's all about context.
So good point. Maybe I am just creating impossible standards so I can hide from people.
Arg. I'll deal with it all another time...
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15