Since you said I shouldn't leave, again I ask is bankruptcy a possibility for the debt. (Is is consumer, non-secured, not college loans, not IRS debts?) If so, I wonder if he is planning on filing bankruptcy once you are divorced.

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But he has a good job where he could suddenly make it big, I'll have a regular job that I will need to do while taking care of D full-time


Child support should be handled through the state agency, that way it can be adjusted should his income go up. Don't settle for any other way -- this protects you if he stops paying because the state agency can hold his passport after he gets behind a certain amount of time. If you don't have him pay through the state agency, enforcement is much trickier.

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He would not have been able to do his job to the extend he has, while we've been parents if I also worked.
This would likely be a factor in future (at least short term) support if you had an attorney.

I am thinking that tomorrow all the mediator will have time to do is explain his/her process. Be prepared to ask questions though. You need to protect your custody at all costs, you need to protect your ability to have adequate housing and you need to decide if you really want to leave the states. (Or you want to move to a more affordable part of the US. He could agree to that, you know. It would cut down on his plane ticket cost, the big jerk.)