First time poster-needs advice

[mm2bs]

I feel like I have learned so much just reading through others situations. I am finally (after 1 yr) learning that I was likely still pursuing my H. I kept telling myself I wasn't...that I would only contact him about things for the kids. While that was technically true, it was contact to see if he would reply back. I am looking back now and see that none of those "questions" needed to be asked the moment I asked them. I can imagine to him it may have looked like I was checking up on him, and that's probably exactly what I was doing.
I am now trying a new "experiment". I ask myself several times if I really need to contact him regarding the kids. If the answer in the moment is yes, I make myself wait at least 1 hr. If answer is still yes, I contact. If it's no, I don't contact or wait until I see him at kid drop off to ask/tell. I've only been doing this for 2 days, but my goal is a week.
If I can do it for a week, I'll aim for longer and hopefully it will start to sink in.
I am a doer/fixer who likes being in charge. In my head I know I can't be in charge of him or "fix" him, but it is so very difficult to remind my emotions of that.