And in the meantime, do a 180 on the things that are legitimate. Not all spew is legitimate, think about your relationship and the issues he has with you, and pick out the truth and do a 180 on those things. Don't tell him you are doing this, just do it. Maybe a counselor can help you sort through the issues and figure out which ones are the "real" ones. For example, my H while spewing kept saying cruel comments about my social skills, about me complaining too much about the IL's, about finances, about me not riding a bike, I say "you know" too much, and many, many more, some of them were solid points and some were outright ridiculous. I have worked on all of the above except for the biking, but really, some of these are not real issues. He was just spewing. I took every thing he said so personally that I worked on all of them. But if I sorted through what was real I would have saved so much effort and heart ache. Just because he has a complaint doesn't mean you need to do a 180. You pick and choose and use your own judgment.
