What the heck is this?

[2Times2Many]

Hi everyone.

I haven't posted since last August. After making what looked like a sincere effort to try to start working on our R, H did a 180 in late June and suddenly went back to the "I don't want to be a H, I don't want to be M, I want to live overseas on my own, blah, blah, blah" mantra.

H is out of town a lot --- I mean like most of the time --- and when he returns home, it's mainly due to checking on the business we own (which he's pretty much left to me to manage). I had been letting him stay at the house when he was here, primarily to facilitate some DB'ing. But every time he'd come home, we would get into the same conversation as above, I'd get hurt and angry, I'd brood a couple of days, a fight would inevitably follow ... you know the drill.

I got to the point that I hated walking in my own door when he was here. So in June I told him I'd like him to not stay at the house when he was here and I packed up his personal belongings before his next trip back in August. He moved out, but we still see each other at the office and for dinner a couple of times a week when he's here and we still talk on the phone regularly about business ... rarely anything personal other than how are you.

Ironically, the times he's been back since all that, the same conversation has come up, with the same results. This last time was particularly brutal. His family was having a family portrait done and he didn't think I should be in the picture since "we are going to be divorced." So much for separate quarters. (I do have a plan to alter the outcome of that conversation the next time it comes up.)

Anyway, other than that, I was doing really well and working hard on moving on with my life.

But Christmas was really rough on me this year. My Mom died last Christmas Eve, H left before her funeral services, and our anniv is right after Christmas - the 4th one I've spent with a vase of flowers - and the 4th New Year's he's missed. I was really, really, really down. I was in a really bad place.

So, as I was sliding toward rock bottom, I sent a text to him and said what was on my mind, which wasn't exactly complimentary toward him. (I know, I know, wrong thing to do!)

He had a somewhat short and cryptic reply. So, in an effort to repair some damage, I wrote back and told him what was going on with me. (I had some issues with depression and PTSD years ago at the hands of some former co-workers. H was awesome in helping me work through all that, so he knew what I was talking about now.)

I'm doing much better now with the help of my C.

But, H's response has been totally unexpected. He's been extremely supportive, complimenting me, telling me I'm a truly unique and special individual, saying I have and do make him a better person and that he cares more than he shows or says.

He sent a pic of a quote from somewhere that says it's good to have a friend that understands what you do not say. I don't know if he's saying he understands what I don't say or vice versa.

(Of course, Job, I have acknowledged, validated and/or showed appreciation for all that good stuff he said.)

So here I was expecting to chase him even further "off" by being too needy, but this is not at all the reaction I expected from him.

Would sure love some input from some of the pros around here.

Thanks,
2T2M