Stepping in a Different Direction

[Pax_luv]

Thanks Pinn,
ok, now that the nausea has worn off a bit... I've kind of stirred myself into a tizzy. I don't know what I'm afraid of or why I'm upset about. I don't want to be with h and I also don't want to divorce him. I don't get it. I guess this all falls in line with the emotions vs logic stuff that swirls around here.

He's not a nice guy, he bailed on me the first time our marriage hit a rough spot and has been seeing other people. I'm not attracted to him nor do I trust him. Am I "standing" for a marriage just so Im not a statistic??? He WAS my partner, WAS my best friend, WAS my lover, WAS my family... But he hasn't been any of those things in a very long time and that's what I was holding on to. It's only been a short period of time that I've let that all go and stopped to focus on myself in this present moment.... And here I am now. I just don't know what to do or even what to feel.