I haven't signed anything and not planning on it yet. We're seeing a mediator tomorrow for 1/2 hour. He keeps reminding that she's $400 an hour so hurry hurry hurry. My therapist says he's bullying me with money, I don't even think he knows he's doing it. He also seems to think we can just bang out an agreement really quickly, but I seriously doubt that.
Half hour? That is hardly enough time for introductions. Perhaps this is a free consult?
He is bullying you -- and while he doesn't necessarily think it is bullying, he is rushing you and thinking you will be cooperative. He expects you to go along and get along -- literally.
Has he presented anything looking like terms/agreement to you yet? From his perspective.
Do you know what you are asking for? I think you need to walk in there prepared to ask for exactly what you want, along with any documentation (finances, etc) that you need to back up your requests. I don't have experience with this so I can't advise you.
Not really, he wants me to come up with some numbers. He wants the numbers to reflect the living expenses where I'm moving to and not where we are now, because overseas is cheaper. And he had the elfin audacity to bring up that now he will have to pay for plane tickets to see his kid. Well yeah, A$$hole, you're the one forcing me to leave. I just can't.
I just reread some of your old posts to me, you said in the beginning he was bullying me. Nailed it. (do I know you?)
I don't know yet. It's quite overwhelming and my immediate concern is making sure I'm not homeless in a few weeks with a kid. Also trying to pack up, sell things and throw out what can't be sold etc.
I just reread some of your old posts to me, you said in the beginning he was bullying me. Nailed it. (do I know you?)
For some reason, I think amwknsw must be familiar with you. This is a new member who has only posted on one thread, yours...and is always advising you to get a L.
I'm kind of worried about it, actually, which is why I'm pointing it out. Maybe this person is someone looking out for you, who knows something you do not.
I don't know her (I promise). I have been reading on the website for a while, have the DB book, and started perusing the forums a month or two ago. I haven't been able to bring myself to post my sitch. I am getting there, I promise, but have a hard time writing it down.
I joined when I did because I was really alarmed by what I was reading in GMUM's post. I feel very strongly that he is being taken advantaged of by her husband. And that she needed to protect herself and her child.
I have twice been the person that stood by a friend when their husbands asked for divorces. I have sat in aattorney meetings as a support person and to take notes. Additionally, I have sat through one multi-day divorce trial.
I am no expert, but I don't like to see people get taken advantage of. And I feel like GMUM's husband is pushing fpr things that are not in her best interest. Additionally, GMUM is likely (not sure of her state's laws) afforded certain protections had she filed for temporary orders (like he would have to maintain their current residence, etc).
I think GMUM gets now that she needs some protections, so I won't post on this thread anymore. Sorry to make anyone uncomfortable.
Gmum, I had to go to see L twice to get advice. The first time I took a friend with me to take notes! Before you go try to write down any questions regarding securing your financial future.
I know you love him and want to save M, but now your thinking cap is the a business one, put your feelings aside and see what you can get.
I ask my L about childcare payment ( would it be affected because OW has kids and as he lives with her, he is supporting them)
I ask about my share of sale of the house with proof of adultery to back it up if D is filed!
I asked about access and how long can I take the kids out of country to see my parents! Please look after yourself and little one. Hugs
I haven't signed anything and not planning on it yet. We're seeing a mediator tomorrow for 1/2 hour. He keeps reminding that she's $400 an hour so hurry hurry hurry. My therapist says he's bullying me with money, I don't even think he knows he's doing it. He also seems to think we can just bang out an agreement really quickly, but I seriously doubt that.
Hi Gmum, I just wanted to wish you lots of luck for tomorrow. It must be so nerve racking to go to a mediator meeting. Try to write questions down before you go so that you don't forget what you want to get out of the meeting. I hope it goes as well as these things can.
I don't know her (I promise). I have been reading on the website for a while, have the DB book, and started perusing the forums a month or two ago. I haven't been able to bring myself to post my sitch. I am getting there, I promise, but have a hard time writing it down.
I joined when I did because I was really alarmed by what I was reading in GMUM's post. I feel very strongly that he is being taken advantaged of by her husband. And that she needed to protect herself and her child.
I have twice been the person that stood by a friend when their husbands asked for divorces. I have sat in aattorney meetings as a support person and to take notes. Additionally, I have sat through one multi-day divorce trial.
I am no expert, but I don't like to see people get taken advantage of. And I feel like GMUM's husband is pushing fpr things that are not in her best interest. Additionally, GMUM is likely (not sure of her state's laws) afforded certain protections had she filed for temporary orders (like he would have to maintain their current residence, etc).
I think GMUM gets now that she needs some protections, so I won't post on this thread anymore. Sorry to make anyone uncomfortable.
NO, no, no! I don't want to run you off. I thought perhaps you somehow know her in real life, and were doing your best to make sure she takes care of herself.
Either way, what you're doing, jumping in to make sure Gmum has great support, is awesome! I'm concerned about her, too. I think her H will run the show and run all over her if she's not careful. You are being most helpful in pointing out that possibility to her.
I'm looking forward to seeing your own thread when you get it set up. This DBing is hard stuff, and we all can use every bit of help and advice we can get.
I'm so sorry that I made you feel that you had to leave. It wasn't my intention at all.
