But I'm pretty sure we've been telling you the bolded part up there for months. You can talk about the hows and the whys and the emotional history from childhood all you want, but it doesn't really matter. The next actions are the same regardless as to why she might be making the choices she is.
Perhaps this is a difference in philosophy... It sounds like you are saying that it doesn't really matter what I learn or come to understand, and that all it matters is that I take the right actions.
Im not really sure thats what Im saying.
The way I see it is that you have a goal and your actions should be those that get you toward your goal. My GUESS is that your goal isnt to "understand the emotional root of your wife's troubles". I dont know that exposing and hashing through those will get you closer to your goals.
I do believe that the "what" is more important than the "why" in the short term. I believe that the "why" will come out eventually; it doesnt need to drive your actions.
