I don't believe there is magic in cousneling Prior counseling was not effective for us as it was "set up dates" blah blah blah I suppose. It will only EVER work if both people are "in".
EFT therapy I have read and know people that gets to the core of the connection issues. Not hoping for a miracle but to get to the core of why we disconnected. At this point, does the reason really matter a lot?
Takes 2 to tango though and I am dancing alone Nope. Just takes one. What are you doing to change YOU?
She has made comments that I have been alot better and caring overall. But her heart is cast iron right now and I don't see that changing towards me Who knows. It wont change today. Wont change tomorrow. But with consistent change, whos to say it wont in a month? or 6 months? or 5 years? or 25 years?
Divorce is not a long process where I live so worried that once this ship sails it isn't turning back. If I made you OFFICIALLY DIVORCED today, what really changes for you? The divorce works in two stages:
On the one hand, you have the legal divorce. The way you file your taxes.
On the other hand, you have the emotional divorce. How you carry yourself in relation to your W. How you interact with others. And so on.
The timelines for these two are not the same. Just because you ar legally divorced doesnt mean that you or she is emotionally divorced.
I have done alot to this point on myself and realize where I can be a better husband but can't apply those things to me. I need her .... Garbage. Lets say you want to be.....more generous. Then you are generous with your daughter, your family, your friends, etc. Just not to your W. You practice acting in the way you want to act so you BECOME the way you want to act.
You dont need your W for that.
BTW...is there any electronic version of the book versus hardcopy? Unfortunately, I dont think so. Just chapter 1.
