Ugh, still many questions. I'll read more on Fo.2, thanks. Not sure exactly what is meant by dropping the rope. Some of the DB ideas/suggests are opposing a 180 by me (and the advise given mainly by Zues). In other words, do I focus on just being the very best wife, meeting his needs and ignoring the pain right now? I hear that the most. But that is nearly the opposite of dropping the rope, not "pursuing", detaching, or getting space. I'm sorry I'm so confused on this...I am very dense indeed. The problem is, I am paralyzed to disconnect and stop trying because it will generate certain consequences: 1. it does not send the right message (by me) to my children, 2. he will surely react, badly and 3. most of all, it reinforces what he has been saying all along: that I'm faking any love, faking trying, not being sincere and not being a good wife. So I'm pinned down, every choice and action is wrong.
Me: 42, H: 38 Married: 12 years (second M for me) 14D, 9D 2015 EA (PA??), porn addict, *pastor/counselor* MLC
At a counselor, he said he wanted the marriage but not to work on himself w/a IC. Piecing?
