WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE

[trumpet]

Cadet,

I hear you.

I told her what needed to happen last night - NC, access to her phone, counseling for her, and then counseling for us.

She still insinuates that the problem was between US, and not the OM. So, she still has lots of self-discovery on her part.

I sense a lot of shame, insecurity, and inadequacy.

Like my addiction, her shame needs to turn into regret. Shame meant that I was broken, and that something was always wrong with me. Regret means my actions were wrong, but I'm still a person, who isn't broken forever. Regret can be dealt with, and we both said 'I'm sorry' to each other, with integrity and sincerity.

Mowgli,

Thought about you this weekend - how you were able to turn things around. How your wife felt a bit ashamed of how deep she went down the rabbit hole, and how the OM wasn't anything worth pursuing.

I've detached enough to be able to take this MUCH slower than what I wanted to first. There are now things that I WANT to do, by myself. I still have my bed in the basement, which is where I want to be right now. I'm still going to counseling.

What a ride. I'll update things in a day or two and let you all in on what my WW does/says.