Time to Let Go.....How? (6)

[otw]

So i need to do an update here.

I am sure everyone that has been checking in on me knows after the holidays I had a difficult time.

I was really looking for a way to get over this feeling. I decided to book another IC appointment and a DB coach session. I hadnt had either in a while so while i had to catch both of them up on a lot, i quickly turned to them and said I need help getting this feeling gone and moving forward.

Now I really didnt get any never heard before advice but for some reason I feel completely different.
They both agreed with me going the no contact route. I must say this has been a real difference. I know i was scared to try it but what a difference.
My mind will still wander to her now and then but i quickly dismiss it and change my thoughts.

I have been reading a lot of posts here from different people I chime in on and other that i just follow. I have seen a big trend of guys for a fact trying to hold on way to much. If they are in house still or not. there is a lot of holding on to any little occurrence like it is making a difference. People have been giving them great advice for a while but not catching it.

I must admit I was exactly the same. Trying to be overly nice when we were around each other, looking for ways to interact, etc..
This may be fine at some point but for those of us stuck and cant really grasp it is gone, no matter how much we type we know it is, I have some advice. It is nothing that hasnt been said before but maybe do it to an extreme to make it help.

Go as much no contact as you can. When i say this challenge yourself to a set period of time. I know those that live in the same house will say well we live together. I hate to tell you, if you really wanted to do it you could. It is all about making different choices about your day and routines.

I know this may not be popular, but when you do this you will have nothing to do but get yourself busy and you will have to force yourself to avoid interactions. This has made such a difference to me.

I came on the boards to read today after the weekend and wanted to comment on many threads to get your head out of your a** and let her go. I dont want to be harsh because believe I know what you are feeling but you have to.

To the people like Sandi, Azzork, Max, and many others, you have no idea how different your words look to me today. I kind of laughed at myself.

I still would love for my family to be healed, but right now I dont care what she is doing I am thinking about me and my kids. I am thinking about our lives and what we are going to be doing. It actually feels great.


I would like to expand further when i can put it in better words.