Hello and welcome. Im sorry that youre here. Keep posting so that everyone can chime in to help and and offer support.

Married 10 years. 6yeard old daughter.

My wife said this summer in August she wasn't happy. Didn't feel the same way and was struggling as she didn't have the love she felt in our relationship anymore.

We have had issues the last 3 years or so and did randomly go to counseling but never consistent. I didnt' worship her and treat her like she should have been for those years.
I am sure that you contributed to the downfall of your marriage. I am also sure that it isnt 100% your fault. Likely, it's very close to 50-50. Im sure that some of the things your W did helped you to fell how you did. My point is that you shouldnt shoulder all of the blame here. What you SHOULD do is work to identify the behaviors that you did and what you can do to improve.

as we went thru alot of issues with my mom who was sick and wife took care of her schlepping her around to doctors etc...We had other family issues of nobody helping and stress all around with work etc...

I checked out.
Like this; what do you mean? How can you do better in your life going forward?

She thought she wanted some space or a separation but we have come full circle and she wants a divorce. Now I did all the wrongs things that folks say not to do here but she is strong headed woman and her heart is cold to me now. She feels we are so different in what we want from the relationship and I agree in the past it was true but feel if she would invest in counseling with me we could get to a good place. Sounds familiar to many stories and I feel I am too late
So, in your opinion, SHE needs to change her mind. Why do you want her to come back to a marriage that is failing? What magic do you believe there is in counseling?

Unfortunately, it doesnt work as you expect. Even if you got her to agree to go see a counselor with you, it wont make a lick of difference once she is at this point. Instead, you should turned your focus inwards. Reflect on you. Work on you. Become the man you want and should be. This will be ATTRACTIVE to your W, and she may re-consider you as a mate. But you have to do the growing FIRST.

She also wants to eventually move back to her hometown which is 5 hours from where we are today and this would ruin even the bad situation we are in with our daughter today as we don't want to disrupt her life. Daughter is already very aware of the situation as she has been sulking and crying where she didn't before.
So what are you doing or can you do to improve your relationship with your daughter? Honestly, THAT is more important than your relationship with your wife.

That would kill me.....I could not move as I have nobody in that town and not sure I could even get a job in that area or would want to.

Not talking about it or trying to work with her on getting back to counseling will without doubt lead to the divorce as she wants us to get lawyers.
Trust me. Talking about things will lead to that even FASTER. You have time now to work on you. Go read the homework Cadet posted. Read the book. And get to work.