Have you read all of the homework? Okay, then how about........
No Mr. Nice Guy (free download), and Codependent No More
Thank you for sharing about your family and upbringing. I can see why you could have abandonment issues. I cannot tell you that I've been in your shoes, but I will tell you this, FWIW, and hope it doesn't sound too cliche. Relatives do not necessarily make a family, and a family is not necessarily relatives. I think the definition of a family should be those who are bound together by love.
I do know that feeling of being in a crowd and feeling lonely. I also think that feeling alone causes one to see others as being too busy with their own families to have time for any "single" person. (Although, it's true that people are really busy with young families). I am not just referring to you, but others I have seen trying to adjust when they find themselves alone for the first time.
We are pulling for you!
Yes, I read DB twice, The 5 Love Languages, and The Seven Principles that make marriages work.
I will check those out too. Thank you.
Regarding the relatives being family I agree 100%. I lost my own relatives, and in the beginning I had a hard time getting close to my in laws for the same reason, that they weren't my own blood relatives, so they weren't family. Over the 15 years the W and I were together, I let go and truly accepted them as my family and have been so grateful for that over the years. Losing them has been really hard. It makes me feel like it's just another abandonment.
Me:34 W:33 R: 15 years M: 7 years W moved out: 11/21/15 BD: 11/20/15 - ILYBINILWY, PA once LRT: 12/14/15