I doubted, but I'm certain this is MLC

[BklynMom]

I am so glad you are open to Alanon. I am sorry to hear about your father but given that he had drinking issues Alanon will open a whole new world of thinking about your past and your future. I found so much support through the program not only through the "old timers" but also with the woman & men that were beginning to navigate a new life for themselves through the 12 steps.

I would say in neighborhood there are 3 large groups of people in Alanon, 1. people going through breakups or sorting through a relationship with an Alcoholic 2. children of alcoholics 3. parents dealing with there children using. (There are lots of other circumstance but these are the 3 biggies) What I find amazing for my own recovery is how much I learn from parents going through dealing with their kids drug use, something I have no actual experience with. My point is, you learn from so many places in Alanon.

Regarding ""Does anyone see a way for me to undo the damage I did by effectively slamming and barring the door on H when I told him we would not be friends?""

I think the reason no one answered that question is because you can not find some magically answer to negate your actions. Your actions are what they were and I don't think it was unreasonable to say you don't want to be friends with someone that treated you badly.

My ex also wanted some kind of fantasy happy coparenting divorce but I think in a circumstance where one person leaves the family having a friendship with the former partner (atlas immediately) is unrealistic.

A divorced co-worker has dinner all the time with his daughter, ex-wife and her new boyfriend and him & his girl friend but my co-worker and his ex-wife did 3 years of therapy before THEY decide that divorce is the best option.

Barring you agreeing to "happy" divorce they will deem you a crazy b!tch. They need to create a new picture of you to justify their decision to D you.

Hang in there. Keep the focus on yourself, on your healing and on fun things you can do with your new life.