Kyrie, Fo has hit the preverbial right on the head. She has alot of experience with a spewing, shamed and depressed H. If you read her threads from beginning to end, you read her awakening.
Fo has learned what she can control and influence and her level of sanity and internal peace.
From my observations of Fo, she does a few fundamental things really incrediably well.
1. Fo works her plan - everyday Fo appears to have a goal in mind for how she will manage the day, manage her children, her H and her GAL, and her PMA. She may not hit it 100% everytime, but gosh pretty much most of the time.
2. Fo manages her mood and responses. She has adaptly described a strategy above for detaching. Read Fo's threads and you will find as she describes it was lesson and skill aquired over time. There is great value in taking on board what Fo has said above.
3. Fo knows herself. Fo knows what brings her joy and she cultivates it. Fo knows how to improve her PMA. My feeling about Fo from what she described, has senory connection to positive sound. Fo is a homebody. She loves her home filled with children, the sound of joyful children laughing. She loves and open home and local people feeling that they can come and go from her home. Fo loves her music. I guess what I am attempting to badly communicate, is Fo knows how to self soothe.
4. Fo built hereself an A-Team. When your home feels like a warzone. You need buddies in the trenches. Fo gives alot to this board. She is open and transparent about her vulnerablities and weaknesses and she communicates her strengths to others. But what Fo also does she posts regularly on other threads. She gives back what she gets. Also Fo has a number of professionals and read and read what she could to improve her armory. You can't do this alone Kyrie, it will drive you insane. You need your own A-Team and you would benefit from posting on other people's threads. You often reenforce learning by supporting others to implement strategies that worked and didn't work.
4. Fo knows what's hers and H's to own. This is hard one to figue out as a newcomer. It's your role to figure this out. What Fo said ^^^^ she knows whose business she needs to be in and it's not H. Once you figure how to get out of H's business and be in your own, life gets a lot easier Kyrie.
5. Fo laughs and takes the piss out of herself and this undeniably sad, frustrating and at times soul destroying situation. There are tears for Fo and anger and a thousand and one other emotions that go through you in a day, but Fo has learned that just because it is all looking like sh*t, you still get to have lemonade out of these very sore lemons, if you throw in some sugar and on a occasion a large hit of vodka!.
I guess what I am trying to say out of all of this Kyrie, let go and let God look after H, and you get on looking after YOU. When that happens, you will start to see shift and change.
Keep posting and post on someone else thread. Zues will be back in no time. He won't leave you out in the cold. it's not his style, he cares too much.
In the meantime I am here, so is Fo and trumpet and no doubt a few others that aren't posting but are reading your everything your write. Nobody here walks this road alone.
