Trumpet, I just read the lighthouse story and thought of you. I think it may apply to both of our situations perfectly right now, and I think it offers a great answer to the question of how to be detached without being cold and aloof.
In my previous post on your thread, I mentioned how I thought it may be easier to detach in this way if I could sustain a big picture understanding of my WW and where she's really at. I think the lighthouse story dovetails perfectly into that.
One of things that I find tricky about Sandi's rules as well as the advice on detachment is that it's all about what NOT to do. For me, it is helping to supplement that with something I can focus on doing. Being a lighthouse!
Me: 39 W: 36 M: 8 yrs T: 10 yrs S: 7 W started coming out with the truth: 9/26/15 W finished coming out with the truth: 11/12/15 W started sleeping in guest BR: 11/13/2015
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
