Hurricane Rising

[NateG79]

Never diagnosed, but many have suspected. As far as the OM, the only thing that held me back was how his kids would be if their family was to split up. It was hard to force that pain on another family. That's why I told him he had one chance, and not to @#$% it up. I'm a former marine, so there's definitely a bad side to pissing me off. I haven't lost sight of being me being a man. I haven't begged or pleaded. I have cried in front of her. She used to say my only emotion was anger. That's not true. I have tenderness, I had just lost my way.

I Jace no idea what goes through her mind. To my knowledge, she's never been alone. I don't think she can. She's been an addict of many things. Drugs, alcohol, shopping, love. She's hopped from one relationship to another as long as I've known her. She was in one when I met her, and she jumped head first in with me. She has a lot of baggage. She acts like she's gotten past it, but I don't believe her. I think she just pushed it down, and it resurfaces at times with a vengeance. I was nowhere near great at marriage, and I'm ashamed at how I let it get to this point. But I know I can be better. I just don't think I wanna be better for her anymore. I wish she would file sometimes, just as a mercy killing. Just...... let me go. I don't know why she hasn't after I told her it wouldn't be me.