Talked to D2, just now. She babbled a bit, giggled, she said good night daddy, ily, and she said sweet dreams. After I talked to her, I broke down. My little one is so precious to me, that is the worst part of all this, missing her, not being with her everyday. I cried immediately after.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Detaching is going to be hard on me, especially not to do it in a cold way. Maybe I need to do it in a cold way. I dunno. I feel the only place this is going is divorce. I honestly don't love her any more. I'm disgusted, repulsed, and unattracted by her behavior. I don't know that I can love her anymore. I wish sometimes that she would file, just so I can get this over with.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Hurt can mask lots of our true emotions. The hurt ebbs and flows, doesn't it?
We never do our best introspection under the influence.
Look at your blessings you do have. Be that awesome dad. Your D2 sees you as the most amazing dad, right? Be that dad, every day. Can't control the WW. Can't even hope to contain her (you'll get that reference if you watch football).
My WW pretended that everything was great yesterday. This was a day after I found out she has filed divorce papers on me, but I haven't been served - she put a stop on me serving. It's almost a game to her.
I'm sooo sick of the game. I've told her time and again that D wasn't the way to solve the issues we had. "It's the only way" she says. Blech.
This super limbo land [censored]. Just glad I have some strategies to cope with it right now - I've had practice the last 2 months!
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
She does. I'd say she's more attached to me, than WW. You're right. I'm sick of the game. If I didn't hold my honor in such high regard, I wouldn't continue doing this. But NO WAY, am I going to have the demise of my family on my hands. That's going to be her cross. But I'm so not in love with her, it's agony waiting around. And the separation from my little one is the worst thing on me now. That's what I'm struggling with. That's what I don't think I can get used to.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Just caught up on your situation. I totally understand where you are coming from when you talk about wanting closure. i also understand not wanting to lose time with your daughter.
I wish I could offer advise. All I can say is that you have really kept your cool above and beyond how most people would have handled it. I am 99.9% sure I would not have acted with your class when talking with OM. I probably would have destroyed an entire family with spite being my primary motive...even more of a reason i don't always like to give advise in these situations
The only thing I do think that helps me in these situations, is no matter how bad things feel for me, I would never ever want to switch roles with WAS. They electively broke up their own family and shortened their own time with kids. What rational person does that? And how do they look at themselves in the mirror?
What does coach say about serial cheaters? Was she actually diagnosed with a personality disorder?
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
Never diagnosed, but many have suspected. As far as the OM, the only thing that held me back was how his kids would be if their family was to split up. It was hard to force that pain on another family. That's why I told him he had one chance, and not to @#$% it up. I'm a former marine, so there's definitely a bad side to pissing me off. I haven't lost sight of being me being a man. I haven't begged or pleaded. I have cried in front of her. She used to say my only emotion was anger. That's not true. I have tenderness, I had just lost my way.
I Jace no idea what goes through her mind. To my knowledge, she's never been alone. I don't think she can. She's been an addict of many things. Drugs, alcohol, shopping, love. She's hopped from one relationship to another as long as I've known her. She was in one when I met her, and she jumped head first in with me. She has a lot of baggage. She acts like she's gotten past it, but I don't believe her. I think she just pushed it down, and it resurfaces at times with a vengeance. I was nowhere near great at marriage, and I'm ashamed at how I let it get to this point. But I know I can be better. I just don't think I wanna be better for her anymore. I wish she would file sometimes, just as a mercy killing. Just...... let me go. I don't know why she hasn't after I told her it wouldn't be me.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
I hear you NateG79. I melt each time my D3 says Daddy. They can brighten up an otherwise dreary day.
I also hear you about wanting to pull the cord. Although I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, I told my W I would already have kicked her to the curb if it wasn't for D3. It may have been what I was feeling at that moment, but it won't help me R especially since I think R is best for my D3. Doesn't sound like you'll be able to forgive your W. I think I could forgive mine. Hope I get the chance to see if I can.
Me:44 W:38 T:10.5 M:7.5 D:3 BD: 7/2015 W moves out of MBR: 9/2015 WW files for D: 2/8/2016
