Julie, just want to say that my SIL already warned me that if H and I D, the IL's are buying a house in this neighborhood and letting H move in so they can "have" my kids during "H's" custody days. And they will push him for 50% custody, even though for the last 15 years he spends maybe an hour or two a week with the kids. But he would have live-in child care so he might just get it. And I have already heard from 2 sources that the IL's are taking my kids for spring break this year. Not going to happen, I already have plans. But it sure doesn't help when you have IL's enabling a grown man this way.
Sadly, we both have H's being enabled by their parents to walk away. Of course, you can imagine what the IL's believe is really going on. It is sad. I can not imagine my parents doing anything but encouraging me to fight for my marriage and make things right. Then again, if I spun a good story for them, who knows.
The thing I keep thinking about, is how do I make sure that my children, especially my sons, don't end up repeating this dynamic with their own families some day? Of course it they come to me in 30 years crying about their w, I will not respond the same way the IL's are. I am hoping that by having a strong independent mother will be enough to teach them resilience and family values? I guess time will tell.
