Stop worrying about the future. If the door eventually closes, then it closes. You are not intentionally slamming it closed, you are doing what you need to do right now to survive. And not to be blunt, but you are a LONG way from H even thinking about that door, you are worrying about something that 1-might never happen, and 2- if it does, it will be a LONG time from now, and 3- you might want a deadbolt for that door if and when the time comes that you find him standing on your doorstep. And if he is a changed man by then, well then he can figure out how to get around that locked door.
Focus on today. And focus on yourself. Forget about the door.
